The Hard Lessons

It's a funny thing, hindsight. The things we look back on that seem so obvious to us now were so completely unfathomable at the time. It's often the lessons learnt from hindsight though that are the most useful - and painful - for stepping into the future. As I think about the 'pub monastery' vision, it would be inadvisable bordering on  irresponsible not to consider the lessons I myself have learnt.

Concepts and ideas can be addictive and when I first came upon the idea of a pub-church, I was hooked. I say came upon, because it was not my idea in the first place. Back in 2003 (I think) I found myself one Sunday evening in a bar in Cardiff City Centre being run by a group called Bar None. I can't remember how I came upon these guys, but it was my experience on that fateful night that introduced me to the idea of pub church. It was a debate evening, and the topic under discussion was 'is there such a thing as just war'. The open, inclusive, non-judgemental attitude they had towards everyone, no matter their opinion, blew me away. The atmosphere was safe, welcoming, as though you wouldn't be thrown out no matter how outrageous your beliefs or shady your past. I remember thinking, 'this is what church should be like'.

When we launched our version of pub church, Solace, it was this concept that I doggedly clung to. I wanted to recreate this amazing atmosphere for other people to be blown away by. However, this approach, in hindsight, was one of the problems. Here was a concept that I was determined to make work. It was as though the idea itself was this new brand of revolutionary washing powder, fresh off the production line, which I was hell-bent on selling. When we launched Solace we even had an opening night to which around a hundred people came, including press! This was my idea (even though it wasn't), my baby, and I was going to make it work. 'I', 'me', 'mine'. The idea had become for me the focus.

Pride is an insidious sin. You don't even know it's there until your neck deep in it.

What to learn? Well, it seems as though Jesus' approach to things was about as opposite to mine as is possible. "Go and make disciples" he said, "I will build my church". We make the disciples, he builds the church. It's not about creating a new brand, but about obeying him.

Trust God. Keep focus. Relinquish control. Learn to enjoy the taste of humble pie. If I get another chance I'll try doing things His way next time, not my own.